Thursday Thoughts

Another traumatic week in the world, one of the little reported news pieces was that the Romanian government made a decree decriminalising several offences and making abuse of power punishable by incarceration only if the sums involved are more than €44,000 (£38,000; $48,000).
One immediate beneficiary would be the PSD leader, Liviu Dragnea, who faces charges of defrauding the state of €24,000.
Others due for release include elected officials and magistrates. This has caused protests in the capital of Bucharest,yet more unhappy people protesting the corruption of a government. The wrecking ball continues in Trumpland too, the far right movement across Europe is growing, and our beloved leader is getting into bed with the American demagogue and the Turkish dictator-to-be. Our ‘Brexit’ bill got passed, but for some reason I am less concerned about it, with the volatility of the world as it is, our part in the chaos is small potatoes.

For myself a strange week, I am known for having a bad memory, sometimes it’s laughable and sometimes annoying, but this week I was inadvertently thrown back in time to a period in life that was full of intensity, fabulous highs and crushing lows, all the passion and pain of the younger me, and I found my memories were crystal clear, to the point where the emotions of the time became the emotions of the present, a strange and uncomfortable few days whilst trying to get on with life as it is. The cause of the throw back didn’t really have anything to do with me, but left me with hurt feelings of betrayal and isolation, neither of which was meant or warranted, and resentment for having been chucked back to a place I didn’t want to revisit. I had imaginary talks about it all but the only answer that came back was ‘get over yourself’, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do. I read somewhere that emotions are the results of the thoughts you have (seems pretty obvious really) so to change your emotions you must change your thoughts, and it does work, but it takes a bit of time, and a lot of thinking.

One realisation is that that a fair amount of my life has not been happy enough to want to remember. Another realisation is that I don’t have a bad memory, but am very adept at burying the past and leaving it there, and not revisiting it. I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing, but it is what it is.

Now I’m just about out the other side, and reminding myself the life I live in now is not all about me, my thoughts and feelings don’t always matter as much as I would like them to, and I ‘got over myself’. 🙂

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. beetleypete says:

    Thoughtful indeed, FR. And a very suitable image to accompany those thoughts too.
    Happy to hear you managed to overcome.
    Best wishes as always. Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. -N- says:

    I get ya all the way. xox – N

    Liked by 1 person

  3. kmSalvatore says:

    oh Fraggy, i wondered hpw you were taking it all….Dave and i had a big discussion about it. it must be a man thing, he saw nothing to feel bad about or have hurt feeling..but.. i wondered .. and i imagined myself and howd i feel, knowing.. it wasnt meant to hurt..but, i would have been in the same place as you,exactly the same place!!!!
    i hope things have calmed down for you by now. XXX

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m doing fine Kathy, just needed a bit of time and serious talking to myself XXX

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for sharing…I’ve been having a weird time the last week or two as well…So it’s nice at least we weren’t alone 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Start again Monday 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. lolabees says:

    I hate when my crazy brain takes over! It’s always trouble. Glad you’re pushing through.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Laura, crazy brain is a perfect description!

      Like

  6. I periodically go where you were. Indeed, it seems the older I get the more I need to talk to myself about things and get my head turned around. Just this morning, a small slice of the past raised it head and said, “what happened?” I told the past to go away. So far so good. Keep talking to your self. 🙂
    Warmest regards, Ed

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Will do! Thanks Ed 🙂

      Like

  7. Francis.R. says:

    Lovely thoughts, and sad to have not been there. -_-

    Liked by 1 person

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